Bangalore's amazing skylight

Who Moved my Cheese?

Just finished reading this book. First online complete book reading .

Change is the only constant is one of the lessons drawn after reading the book.  I could see a reflection of self in all the 4 characters Sniff, Scurry, Haw and Hem. Just like Haw gets discomforted by not seeing any progress when their Cheese gets moved  I have found myself in similar situations many times.

One of other links with brief of story and lessons learned: http://philipo.hubpages.com/hub/Why-is-Change-Constant-in-Life-Lessons-from-Who-Moved-My-Cheese

Flower show @ Lalbagh

Similarity...

 Today I volunteered for an opportunity to be part of waste collection understanding planned at one of the slums in Bangalore. We were first given an orientation on the waste management process practiced in the unit , followed by field exercise of garbage collection and segregation.  All volunteers were quite enthusiastic about the task at hand and were separated in 2 groups. Each group had to cover one row/alley in the neighborhood asking for garbage and bring it back to the unit where we had orientation for further segregation of the content into different types... plastic, newspaper, bottles...etc. When we were done with the task of collecting garbage for 1 row/alley we were quite exhausted. And then we came to know that the garbage collector usually covers 11-12 rows in neighborhood as by herself daily. Only when we have done the task ourselves we realized the contribution of each person in the society we belong too. We ought to respect the contribution of  each individual in our society. I have a new found respect and appreciation for the people doing this job.

Same goes for the organizations as well. How well different departments are oiled to each other guarantees the success in long run. An organization where all units are valued for their contribution is bound to thrive much faster than those where units are always at loggerheads with each other. Most organizations try to do but don't succeed in same.

Another question I had in mind after today's experience....we associate the contribution/ value of an individual by 2 factors:
1. amount of brain used in the work he/she does
2. amount of money he/she makes

It is unfair in my view to judge with a bias to these 2 factors.

Appreciation of good work done by an each individual is very necessary for building a healthy society.

Appreciating differences !

Experience is a great preacher. Of late I have been introspecting and came to conclusion that one of the very important element in relationship especially is to do with appreciation of differences.

The case in my experience is startling like before marriage.... the "ideal love" time...one tends to find compatibility and sameness and everything seems right for the person you love..... maybe the mind frame is such that we tend to look at all the positives in the person we love. Once you settle down (married) you are in 24*7 with your ideal and soon you start discovering there are many things different ... right from sleeping habits, liking in eating, what to watch in tv., thought process etc etc.... and you tend to wonder woooh we are so so different from each other. 

"EXPECTATIONS" are high and each difference at times feels like not in tune ....one tends to wonder so much tuning before marriage ...how come it feels suddenly out of tune. 

EGO is another big roadblock in thinking clearly for me....realization came recently and i could see it getting associated with lot of dissatisfaction felt. 

Another hurdle is the thing called " YOU SHOULD KNOW"(can be a sub category of expectations) and I would say women are adept in utilization of this skill. Even when men feel helpless to figure out what women wants, they would insist on men to know and are dissatisfied if what they are thinking in mind is not read by men. I find myself in this situation sometimes.

As I have learned from personal experience no two people are same and differences in individuals will always prop up in marriage. It is our ability to appreciate the difference and not force other person to change to our liking. Appreciate the person along with his/her good and bad. And one has to continuously work on the relationship to make it happen.

Pre marriage- we focus excessively on good alone

Post marriage- it keeps fluctuating and I fear if not addressed in time it shifts to focus only on bad

Not only marriage in my experience if we apply it to communication with any other individual , having this perspective is surely a great help in any relationship or interaction.