Steve Jobs

heard sad news of Steve Jobs passing away. I wasn't a fan of Jobs but for some reason I feel bad about such great person passing away so soon. He could have brought a lot more revolutions in design and technology. Do what you love is one of his feedback to other fellow beings..... yet to figure that out for myself.

Muddiness

this text I wrote (on a notepad) on my way back from office to home today on bus.... this city (Bangalore) is doing strange things to me... today i had an urge to write....for a moment i thought it wont come out good as thoughts are staggered but then decide to write just what is going on in mind...

--The more I read on Vedas the less I am becoming inclined to follow the religious rituals and religion too.Given up not eating non veg on every Thursday of week.It didn't sound right for some reason though I have been following it religiously for years. Practicing religion is to be set by someone or each of us can choose their own path? Through reading and videos I agree on the fact that what we cannot define/know we try to associate that to GOD. Journey of Life-- I have tried to dwell on this topic for past several weeks :listening to lectures by Vedanta gurus, listening to lectures by Sadhguru, going through the excellent documentaries of BBC on Mohammad (Islam), Atheism and The Incredible Human Journey. The concept of GOD is as old as we are on this planet and over the years we have made lot of scientific progress to put a logical reason to things that happen around us. This has reduced the scope of what GOD can do but still leaves a vast area where he is the reason behind. I find myself more of a fence sitter debating which side to take ( believe in GOD or not).
I had always got a  liking for astrology - mystery part of it made it exciting to read but then lately  I have stopped believing in it altogether. Earlier also inclination wasn't that great but I liked reading on it. Now since the new awakening through Vedanta reading I feel drawn more and more away from it. It is interesting to see myself  how much influence readings have on ones outlook and  beliefs in life. The recent visit to a temple left me wondering if capitalism and commercialization has taken away the meaning of the activity what the place was meant to be. Right from the entrance to the exit path place was filled with shops selling items more directed towards the woman segment as they happen to be more regular on such places. Maybe it is required to sustain and maintain the upkeep of temple but I doubt that. How much can be associated to that? Do temple have accounts which need to be published? their might be an outrage I guess if this is asked for? ...this leads to other thought of temple is a safe means of investing the black money and then reaping rewards on same? but how?? and what's the purpose. Looking from business angle it is the easier to do in order to attract crowd and hence prospects of getting more share of their spend. FAITH is very strong force and many people pay loads of sum to temple but will fight on with financially poor person (Maid/Gardner/ Gatekeeper/Garbage cleaner) if they ask for more money for their work which may be reasonable as well most of the times.
In my view most of us have ended up taking religion as it was already practiced by the family we were born in. Even though we study science in school applying it to religion is still thought to be not correct. Likely as it shakes the long held belief /FAITH. I also find it hard at times to convince myself why I am doing something in religious context? Does it makes any meaning? Why all over world different religions have certain strict norms to follow and if one does not do rituals he becomes a maverick.
Another interesting point to ponder at is there are loads of swamis and gurus in this country and each seems to convince his followers that he is leading them to the right path of awakening or many people may end up following blindly as well. World has become more and more urban but our idea of religion has stayed in rural land. One ? again occupied my thought... Do all religious figures and swami/guru are vegetarians in India? is it the same outside India? especially when talking of Hinduism?
Reflections on experience is what we call as Wisdom ( a recent learning from Gita class...) . So experience alone cannot make us wise if we don't reflect upon it. Always running in morning to catch a bus happens to be one of my experiences which has not been reflected upon....or more correctly even though reflected but no corrective action taken. Is it ok or not? it depends on the gravity of the issue at hand and personal conviction to bring out the change in ones lifestyle.

Is there a meaning to life? --I was searching for an answer to this for quite some time and then i stumbled upon a video by Sadhguru where he says Life has no meaning ... It is too huge to a meaning to itself.
As per my little understanding so far Vedas focus more on making ones life as productive as possible by concentrating on the present and keeping mind under control through intellect.

Even though I have read/seen a lot in past 2-3 months it has not motivated me to change my habits... (or as they say in veda... mind is not in control of the intellect). I keep that lax attitude ...also too long not being exercising/playing outdoors to keep the body active and a sedentary job are contributors as well apart from the most prominent -"ME".
I am motivated at times but then it seems to fizzle out and then cycle repeats after a while. Drug dosage which help in sustaining is missing... what that drug should be is a good ?  Mind is full of thoughts which seem to originating from nowhere ...now I know the source is vasana which is responsible for the thoughts but I cant control anything there but to apply intellect to judge on the thought coming out....

Traveling in bus in dim lights gives ample time to reflect upon as well if one wishes too apart from usual..zzzzzzz.

-If you have read this till the end....kudos ! as its quite hard to follow my random thoughts coming from vasana :). 

visit to Lord Shiva Temple

Aleph !

11th read of Paulo. This one is more on making peace with your past . He goes through a soul searching mode once again by travelling through the Trans Siberian railway (9288 Kms)--Moscow to Vladivostok. I improved knowledge on Russian cities as well :). I found it not as captivating as the earlier ones but still holds on the interest.

Some quotes from the book which attracted my attention:
- There are lot of people who care about others and are extremely generous when it comes to GIVING and who feel real pleasure when someone asks them for advice or help. On the other hand very few people are capable of RECEIVING, even when the gift is given with love and generosity. Its as if the act of receiving made them feel inferior, as if depending on someone else were undignified. They think: if someone is giving something that's because we are incapable of getting it ourselves. Or else: The person giving me this now will one day ask for it back with interest. Or even worse: I don't deserve to be treated well.
- Anyone who knows GOD cannot describe him, anyone who can describe GOD does not know him

-Controlling your aggression in order not to harm other is Path to Peace

-The most sophisticated things in the world are precisely those within the reach of everyone

- Is it possible to avoid pain? Yes, but you will never learn anything

-Is it possible to know something without ever having experienced it? Yes, but it will never truly be part of you.

- Sometimes you have to travel a long way in order to find what is near.

Who am I?

who am i?
a lonely warrior
or a commander of a battalion
i am confused, I am restless
i am searching the meaning of my existence

Does this happen to all i wonder?
but then one usually wont share such things in general
we shy away from making some deep analysis
as we fear it might tear away our modern curricular

life is a journey they say
how to make that journey memorable is what i debate?
we are always vying for that next material achievement
we surely are making progress
but are we losing sanity in the process
how do i stay on the course
difficult to decide where is the balance to attain the smile of a monk

I have a wish to spend a month in a monastery
to see how to live life peacefully
may be that will teach me some lessons
or I will return with same aspiration

Children are referred to as full of life
but as you grow you are always quoted on occasions "don't behave like children"
a set of rules every society imposes
and very few get to the tendency of a maverick
People will always have issues with the rules
as every person will have a different viewpoint of how to live

Do you hear anyone praise " He lived a common man's life"
because there is a derogatory remark associated in that style
perhaps common man is looked upon as under achiever and easily overpowered
maybe its to do with the history of our nation

Belief that You need to be better from others in order to be recognized
drives us crazy all our life
we do things more for recognition than following our own talent
we are put into competition right from childhood
and perhaps we compete till the time of our end

when will we respect the individuality of every other human being?
that each person is unique in his/ her own way
I wish we live to see that day
When we wont need any religion / any yoga
this common sense is enough to have peaceful junta !

I feel lost at times in the current times
as i fail to make meaning out of this life
Search is on to find a solution
Hope I find an answer.......

Desperation

Desperation
sometimes it comes from not meeting the loved one
other times it comes from job

there is no sense of direction you are heading to
and you wonder what exactly are you fit for

at times you take it lightly as a phase which will pass soon
at other times it gives you sleepless nights


you try to judge what is right and what is wrong
but then others will always have a view of their own

some things can be deducted logically
at other times astro/ star play their role
we take it for our convenience which tool to use at what time
end objective being what we wish for gets fulfilled in someway

Sometimes life is full of joy
and at others it shows dearth of same
scriptures say it all depends on how you relate to the world
need conscious effort to get in that state of continuous bliss

You try to find the fitness for work you like
but then doubt creeps in how long that liking would sustain
if it comes in too easy it does not hold value
if it is too difficult you think of giving it up at start

Desperation may be good
to make us elevate from the current state to next level
but can same be done without getting into this mode
perhaps spiritual gurus hold key to that

Wonder with 5% brain being used we feel such state of desperation at times
Wonder what it will be like when we start using 95% of it......

Liebe !! some more thoughts...

Heart is restless
Mind is foggy
In love there is a sweet taste
and excitement so divine
the name of loved one erupts like fragnence in heart
feeling of bliss captures one's soul

When you are with her
your heart beats 1000 times
and you pretend outside
you are just fine

There is an unusual excitement when time is less
as you want to fully utilize the time you have
Time flies fast in company of loved one no matter how much you have
and you long for the next meeting when you will be with her again
Good memories is what one relies on in times of seperation
and people think you have gone mad when you laugh out or smile without any reason
But how are you to tell them what an experience you had
when you replay the sweet time spent again in your head ;)

Romancing has different ways
and so is the expression type
if one looks through the eyes of a lover
even a smile will equate to a bunch of heavenly butterflies

some become satiated
just by a glance of loved one's sight
and some always ask for more
making the efforts of other go vile

expectations rise and so does curiosity
you come out with things to talk about without any fight
and then you wonder how the loved one influences you to this extent
that you lose all fear and feel like a free bird again

Day and night you long to hear her
it is like you are waiting for an angel's voice

Emotions at that time are funny
they make you jealous they make you angry
happiness is instant and so is sadness
importance is assigned to each single activity
and it is difficult to meet all unsaid expectations
there are surprises and there are disappointments
doubts crop in and so does fear
and you question the one who is dear

Love is funny and amazing
you tend to question does it happen to every human being
some are lucky and some are not so
but it is a feeling worth indulging into

Stakes are high and emotions peak
be careful to whom you pick
vibrations should be right and so should be comfort
don't go by figure alone look inside the person :)


Love gives you wings, it shows you the power within
It is a source of eternal happiness if you give it without asking for repayments !!